Beginning around 2001, Steve would frequently phone me when I was here.
Because he seemed so interested, I told him on at least 5 occasions that he was welcome to bring his wife and son here for a week or so for vacation. Please note: WITHOUT ME. This is a common thing for me to do--------besides renting it out, I often just give it to my friends if nobody has rented it......why should it sit empty?
Although I made the offer at least 5 times over the years, Steve never took me up on it although I don't know why. One year, with a ton of frequent-flyer miles about to expire, I told him that I could toss in a free ticket for Matt (who was still a young boy) if he could scare up tickets for himself and Liz.
In retrospect I believe the reason he never took me up on what are extremely generous offers ( I mean really----Free lodging for your family in an enormous house with 1/4 mile of ocean frontage! Free maid service! Free car!!!) is because he just didn't want Liz to know about me. And that is not because we had any kind of sexual or romantic relationship-------Steve and I are united on the truth that we did not have that kind of relationship.
I think that Steve just knew-----and I am learning------that Liz cannot control her misplaced jealously. Look at how she brags about "growing up on the west end". Listen to the stories at her former marina of how she "swanned around" and even when her house was in foreclosure told people they were moving "because we need a bigger house". Perhaps being here in the home of a friend of Steve's she didn't know, but who clearly was doing better than she was, would have been absolutely impossible for her.....with me, she wouldn't have been able to put on airs about being wealthy. She could not "swan around" as her marina acquaintances put it. She would not be able to pretend.
Although I made the offer at least 5 times over the years, Steve never took me up on it although I don't know why. One year, with a ton of frequent-flyer miles about to expire, I told him that I could toss in a free ticket for Matt (who was still a young boy) if he could scare up tickets for himself and Liz.
In retrospect I believe the reason he never took me up on what are extremely generous offers ( I mean really----Free lodging for your family in an enormous house with 1/4 mile of ocean frontage! Free maid service! Free car!!!) is because he just didn't want Liz to know about me. And that is not because we had any kind of sexual or romantic relationship-------Steve and I are united on the truth that we did not have that kind of relationship.
I think that Steve just knew-----and I am learning------that Liz cannot control her misplaced jealously. Look at how she brags about "growing up on the west end". Listen to the stories at her former marina of how she "swanned around" and even when her house was in foreclosure told people they were moving "because we need a bigger house". Perhaps being here in the home of a friend of Steve's she didn't know, but who clearly was doing better than she was, would have been absolutely impossible for her.....with me, she wouldn't have been able to put on airs about being wealthy. She could not "swan around" as her marina acquaintances put it. She would not be able to pretend.
It was March, 2009, and Steve wanted to see me before I left for Antigua----where I was going the next day.
We met for lunch at Anjon's, a local restaurant. Steve and his partners had had a meeting that morning-----things weren't going well because the recession was hitting them hard, and I think Steve wanted to vent over a bloody mary and a bowl of chowder. He had told his senior partner that "Marjorie's the smartest business person I know", and so I think that once in a while he just enjoyed being able to get an informed opinion------which was something he could not get from Liz because she does not have any business background and definitely no education (she was working as a barmaid when they met).
So business was really stressing him out, though I asked about things on the home front, too. He had moved back into the marital home on October 1st of 2008 because he simply did not have the money to maintain a separate apartment anymore--------he'd received a foreclosure notice on September 16.
When he moved back, he said he was going to live in the basement. He made it clear this was NOT a move to reconcile with Liz, but was 100% financially-driven. I know I am correct on this, because he told others, including Matt Gilligan, the same thing. Matt G. and I had a conversation about it at the time [during which we laughed about how long that would last-----the basement had no bathroom nor kitchen. I recall Matt's incredulity during our phone conversation (he was at the airport and killing time, so the conversation was pretty long). Matt said, "Steve says he's going to live in the basement or some strange thing---do you have any idea what's going on?"].
So business was really stressing him out, though I asked about things on the home front, too. He had moved back into the marital home on October 1st of 2008 because he simply did not have the money to maintain a separate apartment anymore--------he'd received a foreclosure notice on September 16.
When he moved back, he said he was going to live in the basement. He made it clear this was NOT a move to reconcile with Liz, but was 100% financially-driven. I know I am correct on this, because he told others, including Matt Gilligan, the same thing. Matt G. and I had a conversation about it at the time [during which we laughed about how long that would last-----the basement had no bathroom nor kitchen. I recall Matt's incredulity during our phone conversation (he was at the airport and killing time, so the conversation was pretty long). Matt said, "Steve says he's going to live in the basement or some strange thing---do you have any idea what's going on?"].
Liz has subsequently attempted to re-write history------but she and Steve forget that several of us were there at the time, so know what actually happened.
Liz has stated that she and Steve were working on their marriage the entire time they were apart. Without a doubt, she was constantly, constantly phoning him.....her first words were always "Where are you?". I know this because I was sometimes with him when this happened.
But she forgets that we know how she threw all of the household stuff out onto their lawn. She forgets how she attempted to make him jealous by getting all dressed up, having him come over, and then telling him she was going to the marina to meet "a friend". She forgets that he was spending time with other women----and had in fact moved out of the marital home to be with his long-term mistress [who I think gave him an ultimatum----not sure. But the reason "Lynda" did not move in with him was because his son Matt couldn't stand her]. After his and Lynda's break-up, he was cruising dating web sites, and met with at least one woman from South Portland. He was frequenting Profenno's. His son told me his condo practically had a revolving door.
Liz has also forgotten that Steve filled out the paperwork, including for Sheriff's Service to her, for divorce.
The interesting thing is that now even Steve says that he was "working" on the marriage the entire time he was separated. What a 180 degree turn!!! I have found with him that this happens a lot.........it's my opinion that he will do just about anything to keep the peace in his home. Either that or, it's the phenomenon of someone telling you something over and over until you come to believe that it's true.
But his actions spoke otherwise. HE spoke otherwise. People remember.
But she forgets that we know how she threw all of the household stuff out onto their lawn. She forgets how she attempted to make him jealous by getting all dressed up, having him come over, and then telling him she was going to the marina to meet "a friend". She forgets that he was spending time with other women----and had in fact moved out of the marital home to be with his long-term mistress [who I think gave him an ultimatum----not sure. But the reason "Lynda" did not move in with him was because his son Matt couldn't stand her]. After his and Lynda's break-up, he was cruising dating web sites, and met with at least one woman from South Portland. He was frequenting Profenno's. His son told me his condo practically had a revolving door.
Liz has also forgotten that Steve filled out the paperwork, including for Sheriff's Service to her, for divorce.
The interesting thing is that now even Steve says that he was "working" on the marriage the entire time he was separated. What a 180 degree turn!!! I have found with him that this happens a lot.........it's my opinion that he will do just about anything to keep the peace in his home. Either that or, it's the phenomenon of someone telling you something over and over until you come to believe that it's true.
But his actions spoke otherwise. HE spoke otherwise. People remember.
So we were lunching at Anjon's that cold March day.......
....and he told me that things at home were going as well as could be expected under the circumstances. But he also talked about his nagging feeling that he shouldn't be with Liz, but asked, "What choice do I have?", particularly considering the trouble at work.
Because I was leaving for Antigua the next day, I could not spend all afternoon on this. As I always have, I asked probing questions. I said, "Can you envision yourself being with her the rest of your life, and being faithful to her, because that's the only way this is going to work for you?", and he said, "No".
I asked him if he loved her, and he said he didn't know.
I asked him why he had broken up with her prior to becoming engaged to her (he had told me many years ago that he had already broken off their relationship when she came to him saying she was pregnant)-----and he gave me an extremely negative answer that would be so hurtful to Liz that I won't repeat it.
I asked him why he married her in the first place (other than that she was pregnant) and he gave me an answer that for the same reasons as above, I won't repeat.
All in all, the conversation was very depressing-------my thought was, "My long-time friend is hurting and in trouble". So I made the offer----again----that he could use my place in Antigua three weeks hence, WHICH WOULD BE AFTER I HAD LEFT. [To be exactingly accurate here,
I told him I would stay 2 days while he was there, in order to get him acclimated-------the house is slightly remote, on a big, gated piece of property. There is a maid and gardeners who need to know who is there. There are no street signs here in Antigua, and there are often goats and donkeys in the road. Also we drive on the left, which he had never done before----I wanted to be sure he wasn't going to wreck my car].
Because I was leaving for Antigua the next day, I could not spend all afternoon on this. As I always have, I asked probing questions. I said, "Can you envision yourself being with her the rest of your life, and being faithful to her, because that's the only way this is going to work for you?", and he said, "No".
I asked him if he loved her, and he said he didn't know.
I asked him why he had broken up with her prior to becoming engaged to her (he had told me many years ago that he had already broken off their relationship when she came to him saying she was pregnant)-----and he gave me an extremely negative answer that would be so hurtful to Liz that I won't repeat it.
I asked him why he married her in the first place (other than that she was pregnant) and he gave me an answer that for the same reasons as above, I won't repeat.
All in all, the conversation was very depressing-------my thought was, "My long-time friend is hurting and in trouble". So I made the offer----again----that he could use my place in Antigua three weeks hence, WHICH WOULD BE AFTER I HAD LEFT. [To be exactingly accurate here,
I told him I would stay 2 days while he was there, in order to get him acclimated-------the house is slightly remote, on a big, gated piece of property. There is a maid and gardeners who need to know who is there. There are no street signs here in Antigua, and there are often goats and donkeys in the road. Also we drive on the left, which he had never done before----I wanted to be sure he wasn't going to wreck my car].
I viewed my offer to him as a "Retreat"
I felt terrible for him. I truly thought that a week of being alone in a truly gorgeous place-----so many people refer to Antigua as "Paradise"------would be a good Retreat for him where he would have time alone with no pressures at all to think through what he wanted to do. I have a maid who has worked for me for 31 years; she cooks breakfast and lunch (and will leave dinner in the fridge). She does the dishes. She makes the beds. She does the laundry.
I thought it would be perfect for him. Time alone----and for the first time in 20 years, no responsibilities-----to think about the best way to move forward. Just be alone, in a beautiful place, to sit and think.
I thought it would be perfect for him. Time alone----and for the first time in 20 years, no responsibilities-----to think about the best way to move forward. Just be alone, in a beautiful place, to sit and think.
But no good deed goes unpunished when it comes to trying to help the Mccuskers.......
This is one of the key issues that reflects how Liz McCusker is responsible for this web site and my book. The truth of what happened needs to be out there, and she refuses to do so.
Over and over, Liz has stated-----including to judges-----that I wanted her husband "to go on vacation" with me to Antigua. I have testified under oath that her story is a lie.
Yet she kept saying it.
I absolutely agree I sent him an email about it, basically calling him an idiot for asking Liz's permission and not just packing his bags and leaving. I was pissed off------I'd had an inquiry and could have rented the place out, but told my manager to reserve it for Steve. Steve had told me at lunch he would take the place for a week.
Ever since then, Liz has been waving that email around, telling people it "proves" I wanted to steal away her husband. Liz isn't too good at analysis-----and beyond that, she does not have a clue about what I think. All that email "proves" is that I was royally p.o.'d at Steve for waffling so much and not standing up and being a man. [and costing me a week's rental to boot---now under the Judgment he gets to pay for that as part of my damages. How's that working out for you, Liz?].
She has said it so often! Nothing will stop her! Not the actual texts of the messages Steve and I exchanged about Antigua (I still have them, having anticipated needing them for a defense). Not my testimony under oath. Not even a defamation law suit!
I understand that Liz has issues (as she used them as an excuse in her depositions and during at least one of the ADRs, and of course Steve has used me as a sounding board over the decades). But Steve's reaction is unfathomable. However in his defense, he has told me that Liz tells him "this is all your fault"------for the act of having made friends in college, I guess. I suppose if when one is at home (which should be an oasis after working all day to support a non-working......oh never mind) and one is constantly barraged by allegations that something is one's fault, one begins to believe it----or will do anything to keep the peace.
According to his own testimony, in 2009 I actively encouraged Steve to return to Liz and reconcile. So in a few minor ways, I feel responsible for advising him to do something that has not turned out well [this statement is based upon certain recent conversations about the pressure he feels, the contents of which I will not disclose]. Now I regret that I advised my friend to do that-------the marriage sounds like torture to me. Did I ever imagine I would be writing about all this? Not in a million years.
This is all so similar to Steve and Liz's specious, untrue allegations against me when I tried to collect the money I had loaned to Steve in his hour of need.......at $10,000 a whack. Is it any wonder I thought he should make a repayment plan? Instead his reaction was to file a protection from harassment suit.
On the upside, she is apparently so scared of me seeing her FACEBOOK page that she's blocked almost everyone else. So old friends who wish to get in touch with her have not been able to do so. All because she's trying to block ME.
But thanks to her defamation Judgment, I can legally get around her blocking (because Facebook is legally required to show me all her postings). Want to know what Liz has "liked" lately?
I win, she loses....the Court allows me to see everything she posts; yet she "blocks" herself so her real friends see nothing. People want to get in touch with her, but can't.
Hoisted with her own petard! She'll probably have to look up that phrase...though I cannot think of a more accurate one.